ruthjimward@gmail.com
An old Proverb introduces this blog emphasis: Those are rich who have true friends. Relatives certainly fall into this equation. The focus includes responses regarding the value to young people of extended family reunions, an “Aha!” moment’s email from a relieved Introvert and ideas about the joy and simplicity of uncategorized twosome rituals. Nurturing relationships is at the heart of this study.
I don’t have rituals carried over or being created anew. However, I cherish the ones that were celebrated as a kid growing up with all the Ohio grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, which carried energy, traditions, expectations, dreams, and all the things possible to inspire every child, youth or adult numbering as stars in the night sky. B.
I have wonderful memories of our family’s reunions, especially the one in 1980 when over 100 relatives gathered at Uncle Eddie’s farm. Each family set up a table with their favorite dishes to share; everybody roamed around the tables filling their plates. I particularly liked my aunts’ homemade ice-cream. We kids had lots to do, badminton, hayrides and playing in the barn. There was always somebody stationed in the driveway with a book for everyone to sign as the families arrived. Last week, as I read J’s comment, I recalled how things had changed drastically for our family, too, after the original 15 children were gone, my dad being the youngest. A cousin compiled all of that information which is still accessible. H.
You mentioned introverts. I did not realize that other introverts dislike hugs and handshakes. I thought I was just weird that way. I also found out why I don't like socials. On Saturday I attended a Celebration of Life for Jane, a dear friend. I had wanted to go--until the last minute. Then, I dreaded it. But it was very casual, held in her home by the single daughters. I enjoyed the dozen to 18 friends who attended.
But I couldn't get to sleep for hours that night for reviewing the evening. I'm thinking that that is an excellent reason to decline invitations in the future or do as others and visit briefly like one couple who came for about fifteen minutes. The man asked permission to speak, then made a brief but emotional speech about the time when he was new in the country and Jane helped his family as needed. It does help me to reminisce on days like this and remember the pleasant parts. Self-doubts were crowding in and overwhelming me. Socializing is so very much not my strong suit! But it was a truly pleasant time. S.
I was pleased that S courageously shared her assumptions about being weird, so that other Introverts will also be relieved from thinking the same and embrace their privacy norm of not being super comfortable in crowds and disliking personal questions. I encourage Extroverts to be aware of your Introverted friends and family who regard themselves weird and put their minds at ease.
Regarding large rituals such as weddings, the section labeled UNION in Fulghum’s From Beginning to End paperback is worth the cost of the book, especially if you’ve attended big weddings, or like Jim and me-- pastor and wife--being in on early planning for many weddings with attempts to please everyone.
it’s advantageous to pinpoint the various small-large social group-rituals that suit personality and schedule which also promote the main goal of being together and cultivating relationships. Some Extroverts, usually ES’s--Extroverted Sensing--cannot tolerate noisy, large crowds for very long and are uncomfortable with confusion and too many things going on at the same time.
Twosome Rituals: A solution for experiencing the wealth of relationships lies with various Twosome Rituals—uncategorized--but simple, easy and satisfying. Friends and family checking with each other regularly is a wise involvement of time. In-person Rituals: visits to home, yards, porches or yard sales, qualify as Twosome Rituals maintaining and nurturing close relationships. And for that matter, making new friends. Phone call Rituals: In introducing me to her friend, Donna said, “Mary’s a friend I really depend on. She calls me about every day just to say hello and find out how I am, and never expects a call back.” Whenever I have a need, she’s willing to come” Telephone conversations work for many.
When Mom was still living, in her 90’s and alone, many miles away from all of us, the six of us chose a particular day to call her. Since she is gone, we sibs have transferred those calls to each other with dedicated weekly phone call time--my favorite ritual. Facetime/ Duo phone call Rituals: Staying connected with family and friends through group phone calls has become a popular family ritual and served especially well for Seniors during Covid. Zoom Rituals: Like many churches, businesses and families, ZOOM meetings online are substituting for inability to physically attend. Connections have never been as varied as the present.
Internet Facebook Rituals: Appeals to those who are computer savvy involving those who prefer the style of connection of gleaning information from photos and the written word of that person’s ideas, opinions, trips and events. Email and Texts Rituals: Convenient for those with Cell phones are safe and secure ritual avenues for keeping up with friends, family and neighbors. Photos can be attached.
Meeting at restaurants or inviting company to your home is a good small-Group Ritual. Each of us has our favorite relationship rituals. I’d like to hear about your creative Small-group or Twosome Rituals.
LITTLE GRANDMA’S DROP DONUTS
VIA Ruth Ward
In medium sized bowl:
Beat 1 egg slightly
Add 1 cup milk
Add 3 cups flour
sifted with 3 teas baking powder
1 teas salt, 1 teas nutmeg
Add 1 teas vanilla or lemon extract
Put covered dough in the fridge overnight.
Dough will be a tiny bit sticky, not runny.
(Add more flour if needed),
Into a medium pan with at least two inches
of oil heated to 320-325 degree (medium),
drop dough by scant tablespoons. Begin
with five or six. Donuts need room to turn.
Donuts will sizzle lightly and turn over.
(Occasionally, a nudge is needed to turn),
Donuts become light brown in several minutes.
Frying too fast produces runny middles.
and/or overly crisp and tough donuts.
Test one. Use a slotted spoon to remove.
Drain on paper towels; then transfer to a
plate and sprinkle with powdered and/or
granulated sugar. (Or shake in paper bag
with sugar). “Limit 3 apiece” and smile).
“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay for the night. God has given each of you some special abilities; be sure to use them to help each other, passing on to others God’s many kinds of blessings.” I Peter 4:8-10 (TLB)
Help me to be kind, giving, loving and patient with others. Lord, thank you for dear family and friends that you have given. Help us to cultivate and grow those friendships even more. Teach us to be a good friend to those special people in my life. Help me to be the kind of relative or friend that they need. Amen