We are made for human relationships which depend on healthy communication. Being more content with ourselves should relieve the pressure on others to love us and value us. It behooves us, therefore, to acquaint ourselves with the Personality (Temperament, Type) Preferences of those with whom we rub shoulders at home, work, school, etc. not only to help us cope with others but, more importantly, to avoid resentments and neutralize expectations.
We will all agree that for some odd reason, we often find ourselves surrounded by people who think and behave differently from us—even our biological children or natural parents. The normal reaction is to label another’s unusual ideas and behaviors as insecurities, immaturities, inferiorities, arrogance, weakness, laziness, snobbishness or selfishness. All are negative terms resulting in upsetting our silent expectations. Complete opposites to us exist and they’re normal, too.
Let’s begin by informally discussing Introverts. I’m aware that they dislike being discussed or analyzed, as they say, so we’ll do this as painlessly as possible.
About twenty-five percent of the population are decidedly turned inward, having a high preference for privacy rather than people, and peace and quiet rather than noise and confusion. The remainder of the population is Extroverted to some degree, possessing a greater capacity
for crowds, noise, and confusion and a lower need for privacy. The world in general seems more receptive to Extroverts, which often puts their opposites at a distinct disadvantage.
Some Introverts cleverly stay in bed until their Extroverted mate and children have cleared out, so they can dress and breakfast in silence. Introverts avoid crowded gatherings, preferring one-on-one relationships. They usually do not choose to converse unless they are comfortable and the group is small, while most Extroverts have little problem engaging strangers in conversation or speaking up in public.
Introverts generally weigh words and ponder before they speak—‘mind editing,’ I call it—which reduces verbal blunders, but produces slower responses. “By the time I sift and decide what I want to say,” an introverted businessman complained, “someone else has either verbalized what I intended to say or has moved on to another subject. Frustrating.”
“Not having the opportunity to put our two cents in,” a quality-control employee defended, “we Introverts are thought to be dull, bored, mad, or sad. Or worse yet, stuck up. We’re usually none of those,” she continued. “We have plenty to say if people would just give us an opening.”
Many Introverts agree that people often ask them if everything is okay. Without realizing it, an Introvert’s silence and sobriety—often misinterpreted as confidence and knowledge—can be intimidating to Extroverts. A familiar proverb says, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent” (Prov. 17:28)
Introverts are astonished to learn that others are frightened of them. “People have no idea how I shudder inside,” a successful businessperson shared. “I’m never completely comfortable giving reports to large groups.”
“We fear someone is going to ask a question we can’t or don’t want to answer, “a small group of Introverts wrote on their report. “We prefer to have plenty of time to think about our answer because we want our information to be not only pertinent but accurate as well.
Because Introverts have a tendency to bottle up their anger and other emotions, they suffer more often with depression. Their careful calculations can result in pessimism. Although Introverts seem to be stoic, they are usually quite sensitive, feel hurts and slights, and care deeply for others. Introverts are actually two people—one at home and a different one out.