Nov. 09, 2025 ruthjimward@gmail.com Google Ruth Ward blogs
Google Research: the radio program…hosted by the legendary American broadcaster Paul Harvey, in the mid 1970’s, featured true stories with little-known or forgotten facts and a surprise twist, ending with Harvey's iconic sign-off, "And now you know... the rest of the story".
A quick recap for new readers: After
20 years of marriage and six children Dad’s desertion, announced by a note he left on the kitchen table that Mom read aloud as we teens waited for the bus. “Going south, see you in two weeks.” Usual for him as a traveling salesman, was to leave early on Monday for a two-week trip. That day, he left much earlier than usual, probably to by-pass Mom’s detection.
I can still hear mom surmise, “He won’t be back.” We’d had a normal weekend as a family, but alas! Mom knew intuitively that she would be responsible for picking up the pieces. In the middle of December, we faced an emergency move because we had no transportation or money for rent, nor bank account from which to draw.
Readers’ questions mixed with siblings’ memories have spurred me to recapture the radical adjustments that we experienced, which are still vivid 70-some years later. We sibs possessed, and still do, deep admiration for Mom’s wise and able crises-leadership. Mom would have been surprised, but pleased, that anyone, even today, would receive encouragement from hearing her story like the following responses attest.
Your blog is packed with faith, strength and love within your mom’s core to carry on life and care for her children in spite of every other obstacle presented. Blessings in troves for your dear mom and her mission on earth under God's love and guidance. Much love to you in your memories. B.
Your mom--a dying breed of woman, I can’t imagine going through that without complete faith. H. Did your dad ever say why he left? S.
Following Paul Harvey’s style, we were in store for pleasant surprises, twists and turns. The first one being housing-- in the vicinity of Mom’s immediate family, Uncle Fred arranged for us to move into a small cottage, without water, that he owned. No one had lived in it for 8 eight years so it needed restoration but would provide basic housing.
The second twist was the free moving of 14 rooms of furniture by volunteers from our church to that three-room-cottage on January 9, a mild winter Saturday. It was sad watching Mom having to be very selective in what basic furniture would fit; the rest went to a shed owned by Grandma. Mom never complained about drastic downsizing. Moving involved changing schools, primarily affecting the four of us still of school age.
The next morning, Sunday, we were picked up early by Mom’s sister, Hazel, and her husband, Royal and taken to their Sunday School. Mon insisted that we attend Sunday School and church, even though we had mountains to climb getting settled. Having six visitors—three of them teens--thrilled the youth and members of Tyler EUB church who enthusiastically embraced us, giving us renewed value and confidence. We felt loved and needed. An additional surprise would be seeing those same kids in school on Monday. (Past blogs have covered Tyler and Rev. Tuttle).
Later in that week, Uncle Freddy and Aunt Lurabelle shared the good news of salvation with Jane, then, John. John and Jane made their way to Mac and me. Together, we experienced deep peace from accepting Christ, and individually, we grew spiritually. We knew that Mom possessed God’s peace and unfailing love.
A fortunate twist was working together for the first time in beginning from scratch. A mysterious and unpleasant concern was getting used to the idea that we were financially needy. Dad did not send child support; Mom didn’t report him. But we all seemed to have a positive attitude and accepted the challenge of temporary poverty while we searched for part time jobs. There’s something about all suffering together that bound us tightly together. And that strong bond is in place today. We didn’t have time to argue, and as six-year-old David said, “We were too happy to realize we were poor.”
As mom quietly tackled the huge responsibility of settling three teens and a six-year-old and her need for finding a good-paying job, we observed her continued quiet, steady and strong demeanor, of her daily dependence on God’s wisdom and provision. Because mom was calm, so were we. Her confident supervision gave us stability, and taught us not to fret about physical needs. My counseling often hinges on Mom’s three examples: no complaints: about her/our difficult situation, “poor me”; no apologies for what she couldn’t help
Although she expressed disappointment in not being an at-home mom, being forced to find full time employment--a first for her--and concerned especially in spending time and providing care and security for six-year-old David, she never made us feel sorry for her drastic change in parenting. We all assisted in David-care. He was quiet and easy going and didn’t seem to mind that he actually had four bosses/caregivers. When Mom was on a night trick, I assumed primary responsibility. He tells people that I taught him how to work, to memorize scripture verses, and of course we laugh now, about his having to accompany me on many dates. After John, Mac and I left home, David, a teenager, became Mom’s partner—a perfect set-up--a wonderful gift of company/protection for Mom and support system for both.
John’s description of Dad’s leaving, “With the roadblock being lifted out, the way of Jesus was opened for mom and us,” rings true. Mom assumed the reins of responsibility, leading primarily by example, not vocally, relying on her deep faith from childhood. Relying on the Lord wasn’t new but more intentional. We could feel her spiritual confidence, trusted her judgment and appreciated her tremendous sacrifice in becoming the bread-winner. We agree that dad’s desertion placing us under the mature and consistent leadership of our unselfish and loving mother was the best thing that could have happened. We all agree, too, that with the fellowship and teaching of the pastor, Lloyd Tuttle and the leaders of Tyler Memorial, then Evangelical United Brethren joining United Methodists in 1947, we became strong and positive Christian leaders.
David said: “When I was a teen, after you guys were gone, a relative hired me to wash windows. She followed me around upstairs and down telling me all the bad things that dad had done. When I told Mom what the relative had said, she was furious and informed that relative that what she had told me was inappropriate, and not to ever do it again. She didn’t like anyone to criticize dad,” David added. John said he’d never heard David’s story, but he was aware Mom wouldn’t tolerate criticisms of Dad, not because she thought he was innocent but because she wanted to protect her children.
Now, to the question, “Did your dad ever say why he left.” And that answer is, “Yes, several times with different reasons. John informed me that Dad settled briefly in the little town where he was pastoring a church, so they had several visits. Dad told him that Grandpa had always said “You’ll never amount to anything.” When John asked dad why he left, he said “I became overwhelmed and just couldn’t see a way out, so I ran away.”
Several years later, after he learned that Shirley and her husband were involved in church, Jane and her husband were missionaries, John, Mac and David were Methodist Ministers, and I had become a Baptist Minister’s wife, we got wind that Dad was telling people that God told him to leave.
A few years ago, when mom was in her mid-nineties and as she requested—wanting to live with her six children (in five states) our family created “Assisted Care on wheels” meaning that Mom traveled with several suitcases which was a very good idea, giving each of us several months of “mom-care”. We all wanted to have her longer, and enjoyed transporting her from one sibling to another. She was always a delight to have around. When she was with Jim and me, we were reading a devotional that asked a question, “Has anyone ever hurt you? “There was a moment of silence, and I asked Mom, “Well, can you think of anyone?” and she said, “No.” And I said, “But what about Dad?” And she asked, “What did he do?” I was blown away, she had forgotten. Then, later, she told me about the process of forgiving Dad. “Every time I felt anger about his selfish and immature behavior, I would ask God to help me forgive him. That went on for years,” She said, “But then, I realized that my need to forgive him had actually merged into compassion. “He was his own worst enemy”, she said. “He believed his own lies.” She understood his weaknesses.
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Ps. 90:14 (NIV). You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you. Isa 26:3 (NIV). And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. Eph 4:32 (NIV). Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…. understand what the Lord’s will is. Eph. 5:15-17 (NIV).