The following responses inspired a follow-up to Mom’s Inner-Joy Goal blog. For new readers, a quick review about our private and quiet Mom’s desperate determination to keep her children--a six-year-old and three school-age teenagers together despite the emotional and physical upset of Dad’s unprovoked desertion leaving her penniless, without transportation, and in a rented country farm house.
Responses: Absolutely Beautiful, Ruth!!! I can hardly imagine all that your mom had to pull together within herself to live and guide you all forward as Onward Christian Soldiers throughout her and all your lives! The verses you close with are incredibly strengthening and positive that everyone should hear them. I will bring them out and post them in my home. I will ingrain within myself even stronger the intent of faith and joy as some irritations and frustrations test my heart. B.
This morning, I read that the fruit of God's Holy Spirit is a gauge of how closely we are abiding in Him. When I assessed myself, I decided that I was low in deep-seated joy. I confessed this to my prayer team and God. Then after my "time away with God," I started doing business. There in my inbox was your email. Wow! Thank You, God! Thank you, Ruth! What a powerful testimony! Thank You for sharing it! I have saved it to read again and again. In gratitude and love, C.
Perfect timing & well said. So much so that I forwarded it to an acquaintance of mine who is struggling mightily with this very issue of finding joy. J.
Wow, great blog! --Sounds familiar. We all survived and the bad times made us all stronger.” BG. (BG is our half-sib and younger sister of five, expressing the same result of drawing strength through trial having had the same irresponsible father. However, their family had it even worse.
I wanted to ask about this latest blog on your mom's inner joy. I always find your writings interesting and inspirational. To me, your mom has always been described as the perfect mom... and not just by you, by all her children. So sweet! Now in the 27+ years I've been with the McRoberts family, stories of your mom have always evolved around "after Dad left". I'm curious to know what family life was like during the prior years before he left? Anything interesting worth sharing? D.
See why I had to continue Mom’s story? In order to go back, several years before Dad left to ascertain what the general consensus of ‘what Mom was like”, I would need to compare my memories with each of my sibs regarding their recollections, to check our facts. A delightful trip down memory lane.
A good time-frame to examine what Mom was like before Dad left, would be the five years we resided in a rented a 14-room modern farmhouse near Marcy, where Shirley, Jane and John were in high school, I was 4th grade, Mac in 3rd, David a preschooler. Jane helped mom in the kitchen, Shirley cut the grass and sewed clothes for me and they were involved with friends and dating. John worked for farmers after school and in the summer, Mac and I—ten and eleven--focused on feeding the chickens, gathering eggs, climbing trees, riding bikes, roaming around the area and watching preschooler David.
Dad came home about every weekend. He and the boys planted a huge vegetable garden. Dad taught us how to plant and take care of flower gardens. John, Mac and I weeded and watered the garden, did whatever Mom needed us to do regarding, preparing vegetables, fruit and jars for caning. None of us recall mom being bossy about our helping. We just did what she indicated needed to be done and worked together until the project was finished. While Dad was gone, Mom depended on John a lot.
Dad played softball, basketball, croquet and cards with us. Sometimes, Mom had time to play croquet. Mom and Dad played cards and croquet with neighbors at night under a lighted yard. They had lots of fun. We went on family picnics and Dad knew where good creek swimming holes were. We played cards with Mom and Dad on Friday nights; Mom served popcorn and root beer.
So, what was mom like? She always seemed happy and content; she and daddy were affectionate. She worked many hours cleaning the 14-room farmhouse every week, the upstairs on Friday and the downstairs on Saturday; she canned, cooked, baked, washed: windows, walls, clothes; painted floors, mended, took care of preschooler, David. She whistled while she worked, sang hymns and hummed. We respected and trusted mom, assisting her whenever she needed our help. She never complained or lectured. When we got home from school, we’d find chore lists at our place at the table.
Dad was a successful travelling salesman and was gone from one-to three weeks. One sib said:” When Dad was home, he was in charge, but when he was gone, Mom was in charge.” ´But she said little to declare that she was the boss. Mom was a satisfied homemaker. We just did what she wanted us to do. Although Mom was quiet, she assumed her rightful place of responsibility for her children’s safety and welfare. At that time, we were not aware of her inner, behind-the-scenes-strength to take charge. As far as I can recall, Mom always seemed to be happy, and enjoyed taking care of her children and home.
She was the spiritual parent and saw to it that we went to church no matter where we lived. When dad was gone, she’d find a ride for all of us. I never witnessed or heard an argument. As far as we knew, we were one happy family. John described her as steady, possessing quiet certainty and living faith, hope and love in humility.
If Mom was not satisfied with her surroundings or if she felt insecure with Daddy, there was no viable hint. However, when the tenant farmer insisted on having the farm house, we were forced to move. The other farm house still in our school district was not modern and did not have water. We moved in the fall, but it wasn’t an easy place to live. That’s when ‘things’ began to weaken. And after several months, Dad deserted us. You can see why Dad’s desertion was a shock to us. Mom never gave herself permission to fall apart. Her stoic family foundations under which she was brought up enabled her to maintain serenity, but ‘with her head on’ as the saying goes.
Thanks for the question, “what was your mom like before desertion?” and in a few words “she was the same.” We had just never witnessed the inner strength of mom in a crisis. Her major concern and unselfish goal of keeping her children together was a first for her.
After John, Mac and I went off to college, David became mom’s partner. He said that he didn’t see Dad for 10 years when he was 16. Mom inherited a two-story house that her brother, Fred had built.
John describes what happened to our family: “The road block being lifted out, the way of Jesus opened.”
I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for You saw my afflictions and knew the anguish of my soul. Ps.31:7 (NIV).
You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Ps. 16:11 (NIV).