After the facts and figures are gathered and reasons and possibilities are being considered, decision time has come. Will it be tough or soft?
Two considerations, Head (Thinking) and Heart (Feeling), influence our decision making and determine the method we will use in most situations. Head-Logic practical decisions are based on cold facts. MBTI’s nomenclature is “Thinking”. However, I choose to use the term Head-Logic predominantly since Softhearted men and women in their self defense invariably object with “but I think!”, concluding that it’s more important to avoid a potential downer to Feelers.
For overall social development and stability, a person needs occasionally--and actually pretty often--to exercise and blend both methods of decision making. But again, each individual tends to trust and depend on one method first, then will cautiously move to the opposite preference.
The general population is split fifty-fifty on Thinking and Feeling. Sixty percent of men and a strong minority of forty percent of women find it easier and more natural to function with Head-Logic. Thinkers can access softhearted decision making but it wearies them to ride the Heart-Logic tracks for very long. Parents can detect Thinking decision in as young as four years. Next week’s blog Part 6 will describe Heart-Logic in detail.
Do What’s Practical (Thinking) Head-Logic
Head-Logic (Thinkers) are often regarded as cold, inconsiderate, stubborn, selfish, impatient, unforgiving, or all-business--no heart. Simply not true. They rarely admit their decisions are wrong unless irrefutable facts prove them so. But they do care.
Because Thinkers are not driven to please others and maintain harmony, they consider only what seems most practical, fair, economical, or efficient, rather than how others might feel about it. Thinkers actually expect approval to their decisions and being met with silence from their feeling audience transmits approval, which isn’t always true. And Thinkers are eager to move on. Understanding this little nugget of Thinkers’ assumed expectation is very important for those living and working with Thinkers. Therefore, it’s up to those who disagree or question Thinkers’ decisions to master the simple art of positive disagreement without arguments and tears. An upcoming blog will discuss this fuller.
Head-Logic men and women struggle to give verbal appreciation and approval to others because it’s difficult to give what you don’t need. And personally, they prefer and appreciate trust and respect. Head-Logic Thinkers base their decisions on cause and effect practicalities, preferring to make situation-based choices. Their first answer is “no” and their second answer is “no“ unless they are fed feasible facts that change the issue. They trust their own decisions and want others to respect their judgment powers. If it suits them, that’s good enough. Thinkers rarely feel guilty and in a disagreement, they’re likely to get mad first rather than hurt.
Thinkers are wise to be aware that logical decisions are not always the best ones, that often harmonious relationships prevail over practicality. Conversely, Head-Logic (Thinkers) are capable of making impersonal, unpopular, distasteful, and disappointing decisions that actually relieves their Feeling counterparts who need support in making difficult decisions. Granted, tough, logical decisions keep the world upright, rational and stable. But Thinkers value help. Although Heart-Logic (Feeling) men and women are often intimidated, upset and frightened by Head-Logic Thinkers, the Softhearted agree we are indebted to them for making difficult decisions and maintaining security.
“We do not make decisions out of spite or intentionally to take advantage of others’ weakness,” a Thinker defended. “We just prefer to make reasonable decisions that conserve time, money and energy. Sure, we respect peace and harmony, but we function very well without them.” “We do have feelings,” a female thinker countered. “We just don’t allow emotions to dictate decisions. Our hurts usually don’t linger, because we think through the whole situation and forget it. But we do need help in acknowledging and understanding our feelings.”
The complaint often leveled at Thinkers is their reluctance to pass on news they consider irrelevant to the situation. “My mate never shares anything about work,” his companion said. “I learn more from a secondhand phone conversation.” When confronted with his negligence in this respect, he calmly replied: “When I spend eight to ten hours in the jungle of jangled nerves, do you think I want to come home and go over all of it again, and load you up with all that garbage, too? I consider my family a separate priority and refuse to let my career consume my attention when I’m home.” Thinkers' feelings and emotions tend to be distant but honest.